Internet deprivation

There I was, in the middle of downloading a very large update for Ubuntu, when everything suddenly stopped and one of those irritating messages appeared:

This might be because you’ve typed the wrong URL, or it could be because your server is down, or maybe because …

You know the type of thing. Being a patient sort of person (occasionally) I sighed deeply and went off to do something more interesting, like a bit of gardening or – horror of horrors – housework.

Ed tried on his computer – nothing, nada, nix. So we waited, trying again at half hour intervals, but still nothing.

By the evening, the air was a little bluer. Amazing how vulnerable you can feel without access to emails and even Facebook and silly things like that.

We tried again first thing next morning, but still no joy. Getting seriously annoyed by now. Towards the end of the afternoon I couldn’t stand it any longer, and rang Talktalk.

“Oh,” said a delightful woman with a strong foreign accent, “you owe us £26.00 from March, so we cut you off.”

“What? I pay by direct debit! Always have done – and I’ve been with you for years.”

“It’s because we’ve taken over from Tiscali. You’ll be all right next month because we’ve set up the direct debit again, but you have to pay this bill separately.”

Why? Isn’t the whole point of direct debit that they take out what they need? I didn’t point this out to her, but I did mention (well, that’s a polite way of putting it) that it would have been nice if they’d bothered to tell me I needed to pay this one bill up front.

Still, not to worry. I paid immediately by credit card.

Then she said, “It should be on again in 48 hours.”

“What? 48 hours? But I’ve just paid! How can it possibly take that long, especially when it wasn’t my fault in the first place.” (My voice is rising at this stage.)

“You can try it earlier if you like.”

Thank you very much! So that’s why I haven’t been around much this week.

Don’t you just love telecom companies?

Mouse problems

I’ve been having mouse problems. Not quite the rodent type, but irritating nonetheless.

It all started when the touch pad on my laptop turned up its toes (so to speak) a year or so ago.

“Too difficult and expensive to repair,” said the kind computer guru. “Attach a mouse – much easier, and MUCH cheaper!”

So I did. Bought a mouse for about a fiver and plugged it in. Worked perfectly straight out of the box, and we were happy together.

Well, happy until the day I dropped it onto the tiled floor in our conservatory. I recovered it in fear and trembling, uttering soothing noises as I cradled it in my hands, and bless the little soul, it worked again perfectly.

That was the first time I dropped it. Now we’re up to the nth time, and my little friend has gone on tremulous strike.

It still works, just. But it trembles and hovers and is generally badly behaved. I’ve stuck it for several weeks, but today the moment came when I knew I’d have to splash out another fiver.

I found the selfsame mouse on Amazon (for under a fiver, actually, and free postage. How about that?) but would you believe it – I’d no sooner finished the transaction than my errant mouse started working perfectly.

Perhaps because I dropped it yet again…

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