An interesting funeral

This was an interesting funeral, not only because I quietly melted until I became just a little pool of liquid, clad as I was in robes with a stole around my neck. Well, quite a big pool of liquid actually. It was oppressively hot, even in church.

No, it wasn’t that at all. Neither was it the fact that the family were Christian Spiritualists, who seem to believe in reincarnation rather than resurrection.

I’d visited the family before the funeral and we’d arranged the order of service together. I was slightly nervous because three members of the family wanted to speak at the service in church, plus a eulogy by another family member. Then there were going to be three more speaking when we reached the crematorium after the church service. It all sounded a bit lengthy. There were CDs coming and going out (going out was ‘Time to say goodbye’, always a tear-jerker) and just one hymn, but even so, timing is a tad crucial when you need to get to the crem in time and it’s a 45 minutes drive away. I worried over how long the talks would be. When people are told not more than five minutes’, they generally take at least ten!

The first thing that changed was that the thirty or so family members following the coffin didn’t. Didn’t follow the coffin, that is, but decided to go into church ahead of the coffin. Still, that didn’t matter. Then in a quick, whispered exchange as we were entering church, they suddenly told me that no-one would be speaking except the son with the eulogy. Oops. That necessitated a bit of quick off-the-cuff jiggling with the order of service to make things fit. What I hadn’t bargained for was that the son was exceedingly brief with the eulogy, so that by the time fifteen minutes had passed, the service was nearly over. I filled in with a rather nice poem and hoped for the best.

It seemed to go OK. We got to the crem in plenty of time (even though one car got lost and we had to wait until they eventually found us) and the family seemed pleased afterwards. They were a lovely family, very close. Five children, endless grandchildren (the grandsons carried the coffin, which was cardboard) and even more endless great grandchildren.

Another good thing about funerals – you meet some really nice people.

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